I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
