If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
