Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
