walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
