found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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