He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
