So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
