i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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