Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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