Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
