don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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