Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
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