he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
