So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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