In the future we'll all be gay
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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