Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
