I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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