need another drink. this is the easiest way
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
