she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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