did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Randomize
