And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
