So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
