Whoa Z and x make the same sound
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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