She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Randomize
