Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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