So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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