i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
