I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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