Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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