how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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