I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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