I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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