if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize