At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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