i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
