Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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