Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
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I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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