He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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