...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Randomize
