We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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