I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
