I am full of burrito and curiosity
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize