were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
