we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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