i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Randomize
