Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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