As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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