But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize