can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
