She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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