i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
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