i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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