I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
