i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
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i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
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I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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