"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
