Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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