So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
