just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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