i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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