Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
