No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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