i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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