oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
